Busting Happiness Myths

Humans arrived on our planet without an instruction manual. Fortunately, one of our achievements has been determining what produces happiness – and what does not. Everyone wants to be happy, for example. But have you ever observed how some people appear to be very happy despite having few worldly belongings, while others appear to be very sad while having a lot of material wealth? How come some people can stay strong in the face of adversity while others crumble for no apparent reason? What determines happiness if not money and possessions? Moreover, if the level of stress you feel isn't governed by the intensity of an event, what does that control it?

Myth 1: Optimism isn't a viable option.

Optimists are thought to be crazy by pessimists, who pity them for their inability to perceive life as it truly is. They, on the other hand, perceive themselves as knowing the "truth" about the world and not being scared to confront it. They are critical and cynical, and their comedy has a negative connotation. They hunt around for evidence to support their gloomy beliefs, and they view ambiguous situations as bad. 

Their criticisms appear to be accurate, but it's really a self-fulfilling cycle. Doomsayers think adversely, which makes them feel critical and pessimistic, making it easy for them to act unfavorably, distrustfully, and critically. 

Myth 2: Others are happier than I am.

If you accept this myth, you most likely notice other people a lot — perhaps too much — and you idealize other people's relationships. You believe that other people's lives are better and their relationships are ideal. When you see a happy couple hugging on the street, you automatically think they have no troubles. Then you look at your own life and relationship and realize you're not as happy as everyone else appears to be. Furthermore, nothing will make you feel worse than thinking that everyone else is having a better time than you.

Myth 3: I'm joyful because of other people and things.

"You made me crazy!" and "You make me so happy!" are phrases used by someone who believes this fallacy. Although these figures of speech are vibrant, they also imply that you are not responsible for your happiness. If someone makes you happy/sad/mad/whatever, that same person has the power to make you unhappy/less sad/less mad/whatever. You can never be completely steady if your mental state is dictated by the actions of another person. After all, you have no influence over what others do, so how can you possibly be truly happy for long periods of time? 

The good news is that no one or anything can make you happy. People and stuff, in truth, do not provide happiness. What determines whether you are happy or sad is what you think about those other people and things. Your sentiments are caused by your ideas, not by external occurrences, the presence or absence of tangible objects, or other people. 

Myth 4: I can't be content being single and alone.

Many people assume that happiness can only be found in a relationship. You may also believe that your lover makes you happy if you believe this misconception. Not only does such a mentality shift responsibility for your happiness outside of you, but it also places it squarely on your partner's shoulders. Wowwweeee! Isn't that putting you in a precarious situation? Even if you have a companion for a long time, that person will eventually depart or die. As a result, believing in this myth ensures that you will be sad for a long time. 

Furthermore, if you believe that your partner makes you happy, you are more likely to blame him or her when you are unhappy. Doing so will almost certainly result in your relationship becoming either very miserable or non-existent in the near future. Of course, if you believe in this legend, losing your mate will make you even more miserable.