Why should I (although it was all their fault) make a change?

OTHER PEOPLE'S CONCERN 

Other people are problematic because, well, they're just that. You and they are not the same people. As a result, requesting that someone change rarely helps their difficulties. You'll come across someone who cares enough about what they're doing to you and has the courage and self-confidence to be unaffected by their imperfections, but those people are exceedingly rare. Your tribe isn't the rest of the world. 

Why Aren't People Concerned? 

We're taught that we'll have many individuals in our lives who genuinely care about us, our well-being, and our mental health. The fact, as I've realized, is that you're lucky if you can count those folks on one hand. 

Yes, there are some lovely families out there but consider how many families you know where there are tensions, conflicts, and even outright war, with members refusing to talk to one another until the world ends, or later.

There are also wonderful friends that understand who you are and that you are a genuine human being who will make mistakes. They're the friends who will tell you what you've done in an open and courteous manner, explain why it bothers them, and work together to make the relationship work. 

This type of friend will not discuss their difficulties with you or anyone else and will cut you off without explanation when you make mistakes. 

Humans are scared of voicing their own truth, and only a select handful have the inner strength to do it without being nasty or offensive. If you meet one of these folks, you'll have a wonderful, long-lasting friendship. 

Unfortunately, love is a difficult emotion for humans to grasp, especially when we are asked to 'love' a big group of individuals. We may easily appreciate and admire a wide range of people, but true love is a rare beast indeed, as I'm sure you'll agree. 

It's not that people are unkind or nasty; it's just that we've been taught to have unreasonable expectations of what the world can give. Learn to respect true love, and once you have it, a world of hurt will slip away, replaced by realistic expectations that not everyone you meet will, should, or must love you.

WHAT ARE OUR OPTIONS NOW? 

Inflicting excessive suffering on a large number of persons who are, in actuality, just passing strangers with whom you have a brief meeting. It's up to you to choose those strangers wisely rather than attempting to put them into your forever category when they don't fit. Above everything, keep in mind: 

Rather than thinking that you should, recognize when you actually want to make them for the rest of your life. 

Everything is centered on you. 

You must decide who you want in your life and why, as well as how you want to be treated, and be willing to draw a line if the treatment you receive falls short of your expectations.

You must be fully honest with yourself about how you feel about the individuals you mix with if you want this to work. It's never going to work to make yourself feel like you have to like someone when you don't. All of this is based on the fallacy of "if only they were different/if only they changed." 

If you don't like them as they are, don't urge them to change. Who is in charge of that authority? 

Of course, we can grow in understanding together as friends and couples, and we should limit our behavior to encourage one another. If, on the other hand, you immediately find more negatives than positives.

This isn't inaccurate; it's just how things are. Put no responsibility on either of you and go find some folks that don't make you want to scream for change, even if you don't always comprehend what they're saying. Do you believe I completely comprehend myself all of the time? 

This is where the phrase "only human" comes into play, and it all boils down to one important life lesson (apart from our abs and glutes)... 

Personal responsibility 

In your life, you are the only person who matters. Everyone else is following in your footsteps. Only you have the power to make the necessary changes to make yourself happy.

It's not because you're a bad person. It's not that you're unlovable. It's not because you're a snob. Maybe it's because you're not picky enough. It's up to you because only you have the authority to establish the tone of your life, the nature of your life, and how you want to feel about yourself and your life, and only you have the power to protect, nurture, and grow yourself. 

We're all afraid of being lonely if we can't find people who like and adore us, but everyone who has been harmed knows that a relationship that hurts you is far more dangerous. This is partly because it takes up space that the 'right' people should be occupying, and partly because in attempting to make the 'wrong' right, it makes the 'right' wrong.

THE REASON FOR THIS IS AS FOLLOWS: 

Because continuing to hand over control of your pleasure to others will make you miserable, whereas learning to discern without passing judgment would make you happy. 

Here are three ideas: 

• Respect what you're feeling, even if you don't understand it. 
• Don't get caught up in the right vs. wrong debate. You wouldn't feel awful about buying a car you don't like, so embrace connections that work for you. 
• It's better for everyone if you're brutally honest about your sentiments with yourself, and it's better for you if you love yourself enough to protect and respect yourself.

FINALLY 

Don't believe the beliefs that in order to be a great human being, you need a large circle of people who adore and like you. A few honest, trustworthy folks who care about you will suffice. 

Apart from that, simply enjoy meeting new people without having to stick to a schedule. This is life, not Facebook; only gain genuine likes!